Tessa Jai.....

Today is Tessa's 18th birthday. As the years go by its so hard to grasp how time flies by! One hour you are rushing to the hospital 90 mph hollering at the hubby to go FASTER and a few short years later you'd have a heart attack if that "baby" drove that fast!

And now here we are today becoming an adult. Registering to vote. Able to purchase a lotto ticket. Not in need of a parental signature any longer. Ready to begin schooling for a future career. With a mother that is not really sure she is ready to let go just yet!!!

When we were at Mayo Clinic a few weeks ago I was listening in to two women and a dainty little cute three year old conversation in the clinic's waiting room. The little girl was chattering nonstop to the other lady in the room while her mom was attempting to talk with her too. The "mom" was saying she had a twelve year old son and that "baby" was such a surprise. "Baby" was three years old.

The other lady seeing a carry-type car seat setting there asked how old the baby was in the car seat.

"Oh", says the mom, "That's her seat. She is my baby."

There was a small crack of concern that showed on the other lady's face as she tried to comprehend that the chattering nonstop lil girl standing in front of her was carried around a in baby seat like a newborn infant!

So....if I hang on to my girl for a wee bit just remember I am light years ahead of this mama in deep deep denial!!!

My hopes for my girl are to heal and conquer her dreams. She is no longer the cute little girl that ate dirt while wearing a cute frilly dress. Or is no longer the adorable kindergartner with the loopy ponytails that were too cute. Or the preteen that played paintball with her brothers. That blossomed into a beautiful girl with a love for singing. She is now an adult with all HER dreams ahead of her.

Dreams that we have spent hours researching via the web to put into play in the fall. With all the pain and missed school she was not able to take advantage of any college days. Tessa with her experiences of her past dish washing job, haying experience, the daycare and going thru all the medical hoopla she has had the last months wants to work hands on with people. First it was nursing but now thinking physical therapy assistant. Hands on helping others-she will be good at it. Hopefully she will receive info today.

I have been trying to get use to having a "shadow" around. Too often I sit with the shadow instead of getting my work done. But when I get to work I get into my zone doing my thing and turn around not expecting someone behind me and freak out!!

Yesterday I was being goofy-to entertain her!!- and was loudly making weird noises as I walked to the other end of the house. Tubster the dog was barking up a storm so I looked out the window wondering what had him riled up all the while "entertaining" Tessa. He was no where in sight carrying on all the more. I looked out the door and he was barking at the house!! He wanted to come in and rescue me from the "shadow"!! That's my story and I am sticking to it. Of course, Tessa has her theory on who Tubs really wanted to protect!!
She is getting a wee bit housebound. Last night I was delayed going to bed an half hour because I asked her what her book was about. She rattled on and on and on and on. Very much reminded me of her big sis on our road trip to WI a few years back. (Maria talked NONstop for hours. When we stopped for dinner Tessa and Clark asked if she was ever going to stop while she was in the restroom. Nope. Tessa tuned her out. Clark joined in the madness. Long road trip. Never a boring moment.)

Tessa is a kid that never lets on when she has a crush on someone. She will deny it to the fullest. Well with hanging out with her day in and day out I have caught onto a secret crush. FYI....she is super stoked for Survivor to kick off tonight. On her birthday. Woo hoo! She is hoping for many weeks of drooling over a handsome young man with dimples. And a twang to his talk. I am hoping he wins again too.
I am taking Tessa to my mom's today-she can recline in the car so that works. Dropping her off while I run errands. Give her four different walls to look at. Or as smart aleck Tessa says "actually I only really look at three walls as one is always behind me".

Still a teenager, huh?

Tessa is convinced, determined, certain that she should have a kitty to sit with all these weeks.

Keep on dreaming, girl!

Have a great birthday, sweetheart!

Love ya always.